MetsFAIL.com has obtained a copy of a draft of a letter Omar Minaya was writing to the Mets fans. We have kept all grammatical and spelling errors intact:
Dear Mets fans,
Back in the fall I was on Mike Francesa with Jeff and David. They were talking about how I had full run of the money to put a winning team on the field and I today make my case for why I have done my job.
First off, for all you who criticized me for only signing a Latino player, I have silence your criticism. Like an NYC cop on the 30th day of the Month I have filled my quota by signing Jason Bay. Not only does he fill that quota, he also has some rumored bummed knees, which is great because when he goes down with injury I can use that as an excuse.
Oh and Frank Catalanatto. He is very versatile and not a bad player and clearly I am a genius for this signing. Look for Frank to compete for the number 2 spot in our rotation.
One of our big holes going in to the off-season was catcher, and I addressed that by, well not signing the best catcher on the free agent market, but by signing 24 sub par catchers. Henry Blanco just got a new hip replacement and should be able to platoon with Omir Santos. I also wanted to bring a veteran in to help our minor league catchers so I brought in Chris Coste. Who better to help bring up a young player through the organization than a player two only a day after I signed him tweeted that he did not even want to be in our club.
Things are coming together all! Just when you Met fans….oh excuse me, Ill take another pina colada….can you deliver it to me on the beach?…Thanks, sorry Mets fans, I am on the islands last night but don’t worry, I am calling twice a day to the Wilpons and letting them know that I am in Cincy trying to work on a trade. What do they know? Sounds bad but hey, these are the guys who believe Our medical staff!
As I was saying, just as Met fans thought things were getting Foggy, I shut them up by signing Josh Fogg to our bullpen. I mean…enough said.
The Beltran mess? Lots of people are over hyping that. Clearly it was because Adam Rubin has applied to the team as a doctor and he was the one who said have surgery. I hope the Wilpons see that? I was all for putting a butterfly bandage on his knee and have him play through the season!
So as you can see, I feel I have done more than my share to put a championship caliber team on the field. With just 14 days until camps open, I think I will spend another 4 weeks on this much deserved vacation…I gotta go, Jerry is coming for a game of volleyball!
Your GM forever,
Omar Minaya

What?